Jennifer Hjertstrand

2011-11-13T20:34:00.001+01:00

2011-10-31T09:26:00.004+01:00

2011-10-10T11:56:00.001+02:00

2011-10-08T17:16:00.002+02:00

2011-07-17T15:54:00.001+02:00

2011-05-28T21:21:00.000+02:00

2011-02-20T19:09:00.001+01:00

jag har flyttat fast har kvar allting här för det är lite inspiration för mig med

nu kan ni kolla

Sophie Jennifer

2011-02-14T09:12:00.000+01:00

mera julia & jennifer

2011-02-13T23:38:00.002+01:00

(mest mig för jag vet inte vad jag fick visa på henne)

Nicklas

2011-02-13T23:16:00.001+01:00

2011-02-13T22:52:00.002+01:00

Hoppas du vilade upp hjärtat ordentligt

fått lite perspektiv på vad du sa

haha, sådär vacker är jag inte alls

2011-02-13T16:05:00.001+01:00

When I think about you, it's like my mind explodes and my body becomes restless because all it wants is to be where it can't, miles away next to you.

2011-02-13T11:04:00.001+01:00

take me now. Just rip off my clothes and have your way with me. I'm serious.

2011-02-13T10:05:00.000+01:00

Jag behöver ett kärleksbrev

2011-02-12T22:51:00.000+01:00

jennifer och julia och recept

2011-02-12T17:18:00.002+01:00

2011-02-10T14:33:00.001+01:00

you don't know this but every time we just sit or stand there side by side, i want to have my arms around you so badly. i don't know how i control myself.

2011-02-09T19:30:00.001+01:00

There isn't a night that goes by that I don't wish for you to come flying into my bedroom window, fill me up with hope, drown me in pixie dust and make my miserable life just that more bearable.

2011-02-09T19:28:00.001+01:00

That night was the first time a guy called me beautiful and I went to sleep with a smile on my face, thinking about a boy who was so far away

2011-02-08T12:52:00.001+01:00

det är så VARMT

det är så varmt!
du känner det,
du är jämte mig

KÄNNER DU VAD DET ÄR VARMT

jag kan knappt andas
helt genomsvett
ditt fel ditt fel ditt fel
du gör det så så så

VARMT

händer längs hela kroppen
du gör det så varmt
sluta!
nej snälla, gör inte det
det kittlas

sluta inte
sluta inte
sluta inte

Yesterday I was given the task to describe the perfect guy.

2011-02-07T15:52:00.000+01:00

I said your name.

Oh, I'm such a fool

2011-02-06T13:29:00.001+01:00

Why tell you? You wouldn't like me anyway.

2011-02-06T13:28:00.001+01:00

you're mad at me. what do i do..?

2011-02-06T13:25:00.000+01:00

I STILL LIKE YOU, OKAY? OKAY?

2011-02-06T12:39:00.001+01:00

2011-02-01T21:18:00.001+01:00

2011-02-01T17:29:00.001+01:00

I wish could back in time and live that day over and over again. I would change so many things.... what i wore, what i said, how i acted... but I wouldn't change one thing you did.

2011-02-01T12:37:00.001+01:00

you are the source of happiness in my life. the torch we carry on those late night runs, the cell phone light in my dark bedroom, the little standby light on your computer. you are all these things. don't forget.

2011-02-01T12:36:00.001+01:00

It's not even about taking that leap and just marching up to you and kissing you or declaring my undying love to you; it's about me knowing if I did either of those things you would still reject me. You love her and I could be the most beautiful woman in the world with the greatest personality but you still wouldn't want me because I'm not her.

It would appear that I have tripped and fallen in love. And now I'm having trouble breathing. You know CPR, right?

2011-02-01T11:45:00.001+01:00

2010.10.27

2011-01-31T13:38:00.000+01:00

Tonight you told me you will never love me. You'll never want to be more than my friend. Stop giving me signs that you would. Stop hurting me for fun when it's comfortable and convenient for you. It's not fun for me to feel like a toy you pick up and put down whenever you see fit. I'm sick of crying over you.

2011-01-31T13:37:00.003+01:00

Have you ever been so upset you just completely broke down alone by yourself. Your parents can't tell and nor can your friends because you hide it behind a smile. You know you're not okay. Yet again, no one knows how you feel and you don't bother telling them because they have their own lives to deal with. So you store all your problems, all your sorrow, all your tears, all your hurt and all your pain. You'll take it out some other day, but not today.. Today's not the day. Because here's to the nights you dealt with more than you bargained for. All those sleepless nights crying so hard you couldn't breathe. To the nights you couldn't wait till everybody grew up because you were sick of them judging you. To all those nights you wished things would just get better. To all those good nights that turned to bad. To all those nights you wished you were older. To those nights that unfortunately came too soon.

2011-01-31T13:37:00.001+01:00

My friends all think I'm finally getting over you. I'll let them think whatever they they want to.

What they don't know is that that's not true.

I don't think I can seriously call this "getting over" you, because at the back of my mind, it's still you. It will always be you.

I think it only seems that way because over time, I've run out of tears to cry.

And just because someone isn't crying, it doesn't mean they aren't hurting...

2011-01-27T15:37:00.001+01:00

I just thought about texting you. Not because I want to talk to you, not because I miss you. But because there is simply no one else to talk to. My best friend is at her boyfriend's house right now. My other two friends are hanging out with the guys they're talking to. You are all I have, but I don't have you anymore.

The reason I deleted you from facebook is because you just aren't good for me. I don't like being alone, thats my problem, I'll do anything to not be alone. That's why I didnt break up with you when I should have. I didn't want to be alone, I just pretended everything was going to be okay. I knew I would fall back into that trap, even though I know deep down I shouldn't, I would still end up liking you again because there is no one else and we just had so much past. I needed to remove you entirely or I would never get over you, I knew that. So I did. I removed you, deleted you. And I was doing fine. But then you came back, you wanted us to be friends again. I was civil, I was nice, and here we are and I'm thinking of texting you because I have no one to text. But nothing good can come from that. If you want to talk to me, I guess I can reply. But I will not fall for you again. There is nothing wrong with being by myself. I will not be with you because I dont want to be alone.

Hade jag varit en mygga hade det varit bra att mitt liv sög.

2011-01-26T20:00:00.001+01:00

2011-01-25T23:07:00.001+01:00

You know... it isn't really normal these days to wait for someone for 3 years, then have to prove yourself afterwards. Especially when there isn't a promise involved at all. Except for mine. I promised you silently in my heart that I would love you. Still... I think that only happened in Arthurian times. And in the army now-a-days. sigh.

Except, you aren't here

2011-01-25T23:05:00.001+01:00

Oh, I am SO going to take a nap in your arms tonight. It's going to be so lovely, I can't wait.

2011-01-25T23:03:00.001+01:00

i'm the girl who will write letters saying how i feel, but i'll never give them to you.

i'm the girl who will listen to a song because it's your favorite.

you're the guy, who never will know how much i like you.

(love you)

Us

2011-01-25T22:57:00.000+01:00

My crush and I, lets call him Grant and me Ashley, have been friends for three years. The first year we met, we ended going out but Grant ended it in sake of our friendship. I was really sad but I didn't want to risk our friendship. The second year we really didn't talk that much, but I always knew when he would walk by because my heart jumped. I found out at the end of the second year that I really liked Grant. Now, it being the third year. I found out there is a possibility that he might like me too. I'm afraid it will ruin our friendship. The only problem is everytime I see him he keeps dropping hints that he likes me. Plus I might just be paranoid thinking he is flirting when he is just being nice. I really don't know what to do.

Pre war

2011-01-25T22:56:00.001+01:00

I try not to think about you too much.

Because when I do, I get the weirdest tingly feeling and it feels like my heart is bursting out of my chest!

i'm not that strong you know.

2011-01-25T22:54:00.000+01:00

I feel like such an idiot when I talk to you..

2011-01-25T22:53:00.000+01:00

we'll get married someday, just you watch.

2011-01-25T22:52:00.000+01:00

2011-01-25T15:00:00.001+01:00

Jag hatar dig.
Jag hatar mig.
Jag vill inte vara kär i dig. Jag vill inte ha ett krossat hjärta.
Gå och dö. Jag hatar dig!

Dumpad

2011-01-23T20:49:00.001+01:00

Det är som i en film. Du kommer komma hem sen, med en vacker flickvän.
"men vi blev ju tillsammans innan jag åkte"
Som i 500 days of summer. Det tar slut. Sen är hon gift.

You said you never want to get married. You didn't believe in love. Now you're married?

Så kommer du komma med en sån förklaring.
"ja, men du var ju inte den rätta för mig"
JAG VILL VARA HENNE!

Åhh..jag vill ju det.

Jag vill gå och dö nu, tack

2011-01-22T20:14:00.001+01:00

Vi är tillsammans, så sa du. Precis så sa du, och jag sa nej. För du åker snart och då tar det slut för att ett år isär kommer leda till att du ligger med alla andra, dukaninteväntapåmig. Jag skulle kunna vänta på dig. Men det är ju inte ömsesidigt. Jag lovade mig själv att inte falla för dig, inte bli kär, inte bli tillsammans för då skulle det göra så ont när du åkte iväg och inte väntade på mig. Fast det är jag ju. Så fruktansvärt hemskt kär i dig.

Så tar det slut innan du ens åkt.

2011-01-22T20:01:00.001+01:00

"I hope we can still be friends, you're still funny and cool."

Ha. Funny and cool. You used to describe me as cute, beautiful, lovely, your baby, your girl, your everything.

It's okay, though. I'm still funny and cool.

2011-01-20T14:11:00.004+01:00

I like you. plain and simple.

but why can't I just tell you? you live on the other side of the country, it's not like we will have awkward run ins if you say you don't like me back (even though I'd love to see you). so why can't I just muster up the confidence to tell you?

this is getting kind of ridiculous.

2011-01-20T14:11:00.003+01:00

I like you...

but you live on the other side of the country, this might be a problem.

Mr dreamy from yesterday

2011-01-20T14:10:00.001+01:00

I know you aren't from here, and you probably think I am a silly little girl or somethin'. But even though you are older and have a life (and probably got a beautiful wife and children and everything you want) I still want to ask;

Do you want to go to prom with me?

But you're going to..

2011-01-20T13:59:00.002+01:00

Why do i love your hugs so much?

i love your hugs so much because when im in your arms.. its one of the few times in my life that i actually feel safe. Please dont leave me like all the other male who ive looked up to have

I hate people who get to see you everyday.

2011-01-20T13:58:00.002+01:00

Not jealous at all.

Even though you move as far away as you possibly can

2011-01-20T13:55:00.001+01:00

I'd like to think that God invented distance just to see how far love can travel. Truth is, and I think he discovered it, too; no distance is long enough.

(I will always love you)

i'll meet you on the corner of love and first sight.

2011-01-20T13:51:00.001+01:00

Ett litet sött meddelande mottogs precis. Åh så fint!

2011-01-19T20:10:00.002+01:00

2011-01-19T20:09:00.002+01:00

we made a bet.

it was fun and happy.

we kissed.

it was great and exciting.

you used me.

it was sad and disappointing.

you thought i didnt know.

that was stupid.

you found out i knew.

you were surprised and even embarrased.

you stopped talking to me.

that sucked.

i think i forgive you for all that. maybe.

but the worst thing you did- you made me love you again.

for that- i just cant forgive you...

..så fann du mig

2011-01-19T19:45:00.002+01:00

efter alla timmar
alla människor
småprat, ingenting

sedan..
51 mil bort
3 timmar med tåg
(i bästa fall)
där är du
i alla fall påväg
just nu

jag sitter här
dag ut, dag in
ler, pratar
som alltid
men så kom du

jag är bara 18
snart ett år äldre
och du..är nog
många fler år

skidor
inte snowboard
så ser du sjukt bra ut
och fick mig att skratta
på riktigt, inte bara
för att vara snäll

mindre än en timme
och nu är du allt
varenda tanke i min hjärna

vad kan man säga?

stockholmare..det är nåt speciellt med er

Jag saknar sommarkvällarna

2011-01-19T12:55:00.001+01:00

you claimed that you aren't very attractive. how very wrong you are.

2011-01-16T12:12:00.001+01:00

2011-01-16T11:53:00.002+01:00

You know all about the romantic movies. How jealous you get when they find their true love and get their happy ending. Here's something for you. True love has no happy ending. True love has no ending at all.

Kom precis på, du är den enda jag sagt de orden till. Den enda.

2011-01-15T19:02:00.000+01:00

Det går inte att köpa kärlek, sorry.

2011-01-15T13:55:00.001+01:00

2011-01-13T21:36:00.001+01:00

Dra åt helvete. Du suger. En gång för mycket? Jo jag tackar. Du kan ju testa samma som mig, ni suger tillsammans. Tyvärr är ni dem enda som inte fattar det själva. Ha ha ha! Jag tycker inte ens synd om er.
Hejdå

2010.08.16

2011-01-13T18:56:00.001+01:00

best friend,

why is it that we've talked every day for the past 2,5 years and yet you couldn't say anything when i told you i liked you?

I'm so into you

2011-01-13T13:19:00.001+01:00

I may not be the girl you always pictured yourself with.

I'm not going to lead you to your bed room, I'm not going to need you to save me from spiders, I will tell you when you're wrong, I won't wait around for you to call me first, and I will probably embaress you in public a couple of times, and I won't do it looking cute.

But I will snuggle with you on the couch and watch disney movies, hold you hand as we walk through the snow, talk about the stars, and show you how much fun it is to just dance barefoot in the rain.

And every now and then when it's really quiet I'll look into your eyes and tell you something I never told anyone before. And then you'll smile. and time will stop. and we'll just talk until there's nothing left to do but sit in the silence filled with so many thoughts.

And maybe one day when it's really quiet you'll look at me and my frizzy hair and my ironed skirt, and realize that I may not be the girl you always pictured yourself with.

But that's only because you couldn't imagine anything being this good.

2011-01-12T22:01:00.001+01:00

I see him lying there..staring at the ceiling. So, I lay down beside him. Mimic him.

"What are you doing?" he asks me.

I grin. "Thinking."

"Me too," he sighs.

I look at him, with such a solemn look on his face. Just as he always does while he "thinks".

"You should smile more." I say. Still looking at him.

He looks over at me, eyebrow arched.

"It's true. You have such a lovely smile...It lights up a room." I say, looking him straight in the eyes. Then I grin at him, get up and leave.

I wonder what he thought.

2011-01-09T23:59:00.001+01:00

‎you were much more muchier before, you've lost your muchiness

2011-01-09T22:59:00.004+01:00

snälla

slåss för mig

bara litegrann

nu ger du

upp

2011-01-09T22:59:00.003+01:00

2011-01-09T22:59:00.001+01:00

2011-01-09T22:57:00.001+01:00

i kväll var jag så

upptagen med drömmar

om dig

så jag oavsiktligt

råkade borsta tänderna

med make-up remover

det var värt det

2011-01-09T21:27:00.001+01:00

kärlek

livets nyktra

rus

Ibland är det mycket bättre att komma hem innan man kommit ut för att sitta på köksgolvet, skratta, och dricka O'boy.

2011-01-09T11:16:00.002+01:00

Vita lögner

2011-01-09T11:14:00.001+01:00

det är ju aldrig nära egentligen

2011-01-07T23:18:00.002+01:00

Det är konstigt, hur det bara stillnar så totalt att..nä, jag känner ingenting längre. För så mycket annat som går åt helvete i mitt liv, så spelar det inte så stor roll längre. Du ville veta, läsa, höra. Du fick, fast ville inte längre. Nu när jag vill få ur mig allting annat. Sånt som är viktigt, som skadar mig utifrån och in, inifrån och ut. Borta.

puts väck

bara sådär

holy shit

(får man säga så?)

din musik i mitt rum

dina ord som jag tonsatt

dina melodier

min röst

stilla musik och

shit, vad håller du på med?

jag vill inte ta din lycka

jag vill få tillbaka min egen

jag älskar dig

- men inte tillräckligt

duälskarintemig

jag behöver dig mer

- än det

dubehövermigintealls

62 710 000 centimeter

du fattar nog inte ändå

för det gör du ju aldrig

storebror

What you can't change, changes you.

2011-01-07T16:20:00.001+01:00

Till, ja du vet ju..

2011-01-07T15:33:00.002+01:00

i'm sorry i constantly want to talk to you. i'm sorry when you take long too reply, i get sad. i'm sorry if i say things that might piss you off. i'm sorry if i come off as annoying. i'm sorry if you don't wanna talk to me as much as i wanna talk to you. i'm sorry if i think about you too much and too often. i'm sorry if i tell you about my pointless drama when you don't really care. i'm sorry if i come off as being clingy, it's just me missing you.

Jag hatar verkligen dig just nu.

2011-01-07T09:56:00.001+01:00

Hahaha! Hon röker juh, hon RÖKER!

2011-01-07T09:06:00.000+01:00

2011-01-04T21:43:00.001+01:00

Nicklas, jag saknar dig.

så stack det till i hjärtat

2011-01-04T21:08:00.004+01:00

varenda dag

ser, hör, tänker, känner

på dig

och jag har ju vetat

faktiskt

helatiden

men jag fick ändå

en liten hjärtattack

åh nej

fastän jag vet

du är min, bara min

okejdå

jag kan låna ut

en arm

kanske två

men bara ibland

men du missade

mig

idag

igen

När vet man att det är slut? Kanske när man är mer kär i minnen än tanken på framtiden.

2011-01-01T18:26:00.001+01:00

2011

2011-01-01T10:08:00.001+01:00

Var bara tvungen att smaka på siffrorna.

2011-01-01T01:02:00.002+01:00

"Never stop yourself from loving someone, Even if it hurts you already, WHY? Because the more you stop yourself, the more you love the person. Just wait. 'til you get tired, and 'til the heart voluntary quits."

Fast så bestämmer du dig för att ligga med någon annan istället och älskar inte alls mig

2010-12-31T21:40:00.000+01:00

Ibland har jag lust att knuffa dig. Hårt. Brutalt. Ramla. Så jag kan sätta mig gränsle över dig, hålla för din näsa och mun, så du inte kan andas på en stund. Sära på fingrarna, så jag kan kyssa dig. Ta tag i din tröja, dra upp dig så du sitter och är längre än mig och jag sitter i ditt knä. Kyss mig och håll om mig så du nästan krossar mig, lämna märken, gör mig blå. Jag vill veta att allt hänt, se, inte inbilla. Så jag vet att bulan i bakhuvudet finns där för att du tryckte mig upp mot en vägg. Bevis. På att du kanske älskar mig. Inte att du är en illusion.

Ibland önskar jag faktiskt att nån ska ramla ihop, framför mig. Så jag kan hjälpa och vara lite speciell.

2010-12-30T15:54:00.001+01:00

Hjärtat inuti faller sönder, precis så känns det. Måste stanna, känna om det slår. Jo, det gör det. Hur?

2010-12-30T15:51:00.001+01:00

It's a.. self-preservation thing you see.

2010-12-30T15:40:00.001+01:00

Just tryin' not to break.

Jag känner mig ganska ensam, faktiskt. Inte riktigt hel utan dig, fast egentligen inte helt hel med dig heller.

2010-12-30T15:36:00.001+01:00

Skulle du byta ut en kroppsdel mot en kram?

2010-12-30T15:35:00.003+01:00

Skulle du vara med vemsomhelst för att slippa vara ensam?

2010-12-30T15:35:00.001+01:00

Går det att tänka sig en frisk människa?

2010-12-30T15:34:00.001+01:00

Hur många hjärtan krossas på ett år? Helas ett enda?

2010-12-30T15:26:00.001+01:00

Fick tröst av mamma, Ninis ^^

2010-12-29T22:18:00.002+01:00

mamma kör sådan där anti-stress grej (eller det är lugnande för henne iaf) via att virka små arigumis eller vad dem kallas. Min är stor dock, Ninis. Ögonen öppnas nog om några veckor. I love!

2010-12-29T01:42:00.001+01:00

I'm just sitting here, waiting for you to come online. I've got the perfect thing to say, a conversation starter just waiting. Come on, little green dot, you can do it.

I don't hate you. I just feel better when you aren't around.

2010-12-28T23:53:00.001+01:00

2010-12-27T19:08:00.001+01:00

When I avoid eye contact, and refuse to talk to you, and won't communicate with you any more than I have to... that's me trying to keep sane. Or to become sane. Or something. Anyway, it's not personal; just because I can't say "hi" to you doesn't mean you're not the person I like best in that godforsaken school.

2

2010-12-26T19:03:00.007+01:00

Fullmånen kastade blå spöklika skuggor i hela rummet. Hon sov och han var vaken. Täcket prasslade lite när hon tog ett djupt andetag. Han låg och såg på henne. Hur bröstkorgen höjdes och sänktes. Hennes fridfulla ansikte. Tyst tyst viskade han hennes namn. Hon rörde inte en min. Han strök bort en slinga hår från hennes ansikte.

"Jag älskar dig," viskade han och kysste hennes kind. Sedan la han sig tillrätta med armarna runt hennes kropp, drog henne så tätt intill sig som han kunde, och somnade.

Han visste inte att hon varit vaken och hört alltihop.

"Jag älskar dig också," viskade hon när han somnat. Utanför fönstret fortsatte månen röra sig i sin bana. Skuggorna i rummet blev längre.

Nu kan du inte välja bort mig. Och det här är så mycket bättre än jag trodde vi kunde bli innan.

2010-12-26T00:00:00.000+01:00

2010-12-25T23:36:00.004+01:00

”Berätta något för mig, ” sa han och ritade på hennes mage med fingrarna.
”Jag gillar dina fingrar som fjäderlätt smeker min hud och hur sköna dem känns i mig. Jag gillar hur skönt det känns med dina läppar, på min hals, längs min kropp, hur de utforskar hela mig. Jag älskade när du sa att jag var den jobbigaste du träffat, för jag hörde i din röst, att jag också var den bästa. Jag gillade att du köpte alla olika sorters mackor som fanns inne på Le Pain Francais, bara för att en kanske skulle vara min favorit, och att du försökte låta så nonchalant som möjligt när du sa att du köpt en tandborste till mig.” Han log och hon log. Han la sitt huvud på hennes bröst och hon hade fingrarna i hans hår.

"Så då var jag tvungen att kyssa dig, och skratta lite. För du var så söt. Jag vet att jag är den första som fått allt det där av dig, och det är underbart att du anstränger dig så.”